The wrong notes out of my mouth.

So there's this thing I do. It's called "singing". Looks easy. Sounds easy.

For me? It isn't.

Singing is one of the hardest things I have had to work at when it comes to being a "triple-threat". And you know what the worst part of it is? I'm actually not a bad singer.

In fact, I'm a damn good singer.

Except for when I sing in front of people.....more specifically, people behind a table, who will then talk about me after I walk out of a room.

So why am I so upset at something that I'm actually pretty good at? Well, there's this thing I do. It's called "psyching myself out for no reason". I do it a lot actually. But don't worry, if I could stop doing it, I totally would. In fact, I don't even know when I'm doing it until all the damage is done! Sounds pretty intense, huh.

So lets do a little problem solving, shall we? How can I fix something that I am good at, but not when it matters? Don't do it at all? Wrong. The correct answer would be to keep going! BUT.....I hate that answer, and sometimes, I don't really want to keep going. Sometimes, I'd rather pretend I was a deaf mute who could get on stage and touch people's hearts just because I'm a deaf mute. * shrugs* That wouldn't be so bad, right?

But in all seriousness, nerves have ALWAYS gotten the best of me. During the summer, they don't. I don't know why, but there have been very few times at Playmill where my nerves have come in competition with my talent. But here in Utah? At BYU? I'm a goner. I don't know what the problem is! But I guess I just have to keep working, keep trying, and keep putting one foot in front of the other and love every step.

Well, to be honest, I'm not going to love every step. I'll probably hate most of them. But love the result. A result. *shrugs* whatever.

On a different note, I am swear-word-hungry and have no desire to make anything to eat. I guess I could go buy something, but that is more effort. Is this how anorexic people get skinny? They just get lazy and don't eat? What a horrible lifestyle.

I can't really focus on one thing right now.

Look. Christmas lights.

Moral of the story: Eat food you want to eat.