That's right, I'm a liquor, and a really good one too (from what I hear). I chuckled a little bit when I read the print: "Unlimited Potential". I made a little joke about it, and he responded with "that's you."
And it got me thinking. I DO have unlimited potential. But....its not just me, its everybody. We all have unlimited potential. Potential doesn't really stop anywhere. Potential just keeps on going, and going, and going. I don't know, I thought that was a cool thought, and something I had never considered before. Take that for what its worth.
Another friend told me today that she really liked my blog and was happy that I was posting again. I never know how to respond to that, because I forget that people read my blog. I don't mean to say "Ohh, I just write, nobody reads my blog, I'm so emo...." or whatever. I simply mean that I forget that people read it. I don't ask for comments, I don't try to prompt comments or anything, and.....well, anyway, I hope that made sense. She then said "I think you have a lot of interesting things to say right now, and I love reading about it" (I'm sure that's not word for word, but that's the jist). At the time, I thought "yeah, I guess I do have interesting things to say right now in my life...." but as the night has worn on, I've realized something: these thoughts, these things that I think and that I feel, aren't a current thing. I mean....I always have something to say, something I'm thinking about, something that I'm doubting or wondering or pondering. But the difference is, is that right now (in my current place in my life), I don't have any fears or any reason to hold them back anymore. I don't mind sharing them, and I find it to be very relieving to be able to say what I feel and not worry about what those close to me will say, or how they'll react, or if I'm saying or believing the right things. I can just....say it.
This brings me to my next thought, which is a thought I've already touched on a lot. Why do we care so much about what people think of us? I can't help it. We can't help it! Its what we do, and we HAVE to, to a point, right? I'm coming to the conclusion that I will always be asking this question--I may never have an answer. And....that's fine by me.
I've developed a lot of self-control in the last little while, and I am so grateful for it. Who knew how freeing self-control could be!
Today was a good day. I went to my new gym, which I am slowly loving more and more. I have started exercising again, and I am remembering how happy I feel when I know that I am taking care of myself. I went to work, and was visited by people I really love. I went to a reunion party with some of the best friends I've had in my life, saw and visited so many dear high school friends, and was reminded of how fun life is. I sold the last room in my condo, which means I am set for the next little while, and I was able to get to know some acquaintances a little bit better. I'm laying in bed with my white christmas lights on, looking at a mirror that is hanging on my wall, reflecting a sign above my bed that reads "Live what you Love". I have a ceiling fan that actually works, and I can hear a train in the distance. I just drank a cold glass of orange juice, and my eyes are heavy, which means sleep is coming soon. The clock on my wall is ticking. Its just loud enough that I can hear it, but not loud enough that it bothers me. It reminds me that time is always moving, and that it shouldn't be wasted. I think "wasting time" is a relative phrase. Who is really able to say what is wasted and what isn't? Isn't it all about perspective?
Last night a met man in my ward named Ryan. He's completely deaf, and that was my first conversation with a deaf person. I really am eager to learn ASL now, and plan to take full advantage of the current opportunities. When he figured out that I had no idea how to sign, he signed to me that he saw me at Church the last two weeks, but hasn't been able to say hello. He then pulled out his phone and we communicated by texting on it to one another for about 20 minutes before I had to go. It was so nice. It was so nice to have somebody come up to me and just want to get to know me. No ulterior motives, no...games, just a simple "Hello--I noticed you and that you were new, and just wanted to say hello." People really are nice. I am going to try to be nicer to strangers. After all, they're just people.
I've been thinking alot about music lately, and how different our music is now from, say, 50 years ago. I've seen a lot of memes floating around facebook and the internet about how crappy our music is today compared to the lyrics and music of the "golden age", or whatever. And, for the most part, I think they have a point. I think our generation is REALLY CRAPPY at writing good lyrics, at writing something beautiful and meaningful. But, I also think that we are in a completely different day an age. Of course music is going to evolve. Sure, Justin Bieber's song "girlfriend" isn't the most profound song written, nor does it inspire any sort of....ANYTHING in me, but that's not to say that music is dead. I think we have very VERY talnted musicians out there, and its just unfortunate that the crappier songs are more popular. Have you heard Jason Mraz's new song? I think its beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got Yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end you're still my friend, at least we did intend for us to work
We didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am
So easy is our life, what's mine is yours and yours mine. Hardly do we ever fight, we'd rather be kind
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get dark
Healing this broken heart
And I know I'm worth it
I'm worth it
I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough,
I am loved, we've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We've got a lot to learn
And we're worth it
So....its not mysterious, or cryptic, or anything like that. Its just....simple. And almost peaceful. And I just really love it.
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