May I just start by saying that I am absolutely addicted to this song that is playing right now? I have just recently become familiar with it, and I feel like a large chunk of my life was wasted because I didn't know this song! There is something about it that just hits me HARD. We all have things like that, songs, movies, anything that mean something to us but does nothing for the next person. This is one of those songs for me. The last few nights I haven't been able to sleep (my brain doesn't shut off), and so I've put my Ipod on repeat, and would listen to this song over and over again. I would sing along to it, find my own harmonies, make up my own lyrics, you name it.
As you can probably tell, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my life and think a lot about who I am and what I'm doing. It is at times like these that I wish I were a more eloquent writer. I wish I could write like C.S. Lewis. He was a brilliant man. I just throw words on a page and hope they are in the same tense when all is said and done...
But as I was saying, I've come to learn a LOT of important things about myself. Things I love, and things I don't like to much. And the things I don't like about myself? Well, I'm going to change them. Not get rid of them, but change them, and use them for better purposes.
Let me give a little analogy as to where I feel my life is right now. I am in a show right now called Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (COME SEE IT!), and in the show, Freddy is in a wheelchair, and he goes to a stair and rolls into it over and over and over again, signaling that he wants to go up the wall/stairs. Eventually, two other guys come down and pick him up out of the chair and carry him up the platform. That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm running into this wall over and over and over and over again, hoping that it will move. But....it doesn't. Except, I haven't quite found those people who will lift me up and help me get where I need to go.
SO! I've come up with a solution: Kelly, get out of the stupid wheelchair. Get out of the wheelchair, and take yourself to where you want to go! Though I just said I felt like I was running into a wall, I have a new-found motivation to soar and excel. I feel like I am ready to take my life into my own hands again, and fly; to stop depending on others to make me happy; to start living for myself and to serve others without thinking twice; to take some time and work on what I want to work on. Soon, or not so soon I suppose, I won't be by myself. I will have a husband and children, and have to nurture them. Now is the time for me to nurture myself and become everything that I am lacking now for a better life in the future. World, WATCH OUT!
Well. Change of gears. I sung in church today. It actually went pretty well! Singing in church scares the $#@% out of me, but it was different today. I don't know what it is, but I would rather be on stage in front of thousands of people than sing in church. But after today, I don't think I'd mind. Naturally, I woke up without a voice. That seems to happen to me when I have something important going on. I wasn't as good as I thought I could be or should be, but I felt something today, and I hope those listening felt something as well. I still don't have a voice. In fact, my double will be taking my show tomorrow so I can go on vocal rest. You wouldn't believe how many cups of honey/lemon/water I've had today. My mouth is ready to die from all the lemon juice. Smooth move, Kelly.
Lets go for another change of gears. My stud little brother dislocated his jaw the other day. WHAT?!?! Seriously! He smashed down on his friend's shoulder during a layup in his basketball practice. What a trooper. Of course he was still as witty and sarcastic as ever, but I still wish the little guy didn't have to go through that. His coach is actually a doctor, so at practice he just popped it right back in and sent him to the ER. Oh Hootie. Life is never boring with you around. I mean, come on, your name is Hootie.
My grandma came to church today to hear my sing. She wore her track suit. I love that lady! I can't wait to go to Wendover with her! Get it Grandma!
Life is an adventure. Lets not treat it as anything less than that. Love and blessings on you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Just....write it.