Sense-Memory

I am really passionate about music. I don't know a think about technique, or theory, or any of that. Half the time, I couldn't even tell you who sang or composed what song, or even what the song was called, but only that I know that song and love it. I did a lot of cleaning yesterday, and had my itunes on shuffle. The array of songs that came on was remarkable. I relived and experienced so many old feelings and memories, and was constantly amazed at how music (or smells) can recall senses and memory. We use that a lot in performance, but I think the times that it surprises you is the most powerful.

So, I've decided to compile and share a few of the songs that ALWAYS recall some sort of sense-memory, and why. (I haven't even watched these music videos, and am only posting them so you can hear the songs. If there is really inappropriate content....I don't quite endorse that.)

1. Kelly Clarkson--Breakaway.

When I was a junior in high school, my family moved from Orem to Springville. I went to a private school my entire life, and though the move didn't require me to change schools, I was really struggling. But at this time, I had just started performing in my first show outside of school, and made a lot of new friends. One of my friends (who I later dated for a long time), made me a mix CD to help me during that time. "Breakaway" was the first song on the album, and had just come out on the radio. I also never felt like I was "up to date" on the latest music or videos, and so this was really special to me. I remember sitting in my new room my second night there, listening to this CD/song. I felt excited about having a large room with a walk-in-closet, scared to live somewhere else, not sure what to do about this boy that liked me/I liked back, happy to be performing with such fun people, and wondering how to make it through high school. Every time I hear this song now, I immediately flash back to being 16 years old in a brand now home, not sure how my life would work out. I can even smell what my house smelled like at the time. It was so new, and so foreign to me.

2. Elisa--The Waves

I had always been an Elisa fan, but had not really listened to her whole album. When I first heard this song, I had just finished reading an email where somebody very close to me explained a difficult trial they were facing. I didn't know what to do. I remember lying in my closet (in the new home I spoke of above) and just crying. Again, the ugly crying. I probably spent two hours in there. When I came out, I put on music, and just selected random on my ipod. This was the song that came on. I cried to it, I learned it, and I listened to it for 2 weeks straight. It doesn't really have much to do with the lyrics, as much as the timing and the feel of the song. After that period, I didn't listen to that song for a very long time. About 1.5 years ago, the song came on again during shuffle, and I just teared up, re-experiencing all of those feelings. But I loved that song so much, that I listened to it over and over until it didn't effect me like that. Now, I listen to it often, and though I remember, I feel hopeful. It is also a GREAT song to sing a long to.

3. Ingrid Michelson--Morning Lullabies

When I was on tour with "Macbeth", our stage manager LOVED Ingrid Michelson. I also liked her, but didn't really know any of her songs. She gave me a cd with a lot of her songs. One night in Salt Lake, I went back to my hotel room and sat on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I wasn't sad, I wasn't upset, I wasn't angry, I wasn't happy, I wasn't excited: I wasn't really anything. I felt like I was just existing in that moment. I turned on my music and let her album play. This song came on, and I couldn't stop listening to it. It reminds me of being adventurous, yet peaceful. It also reminds me of Sundried Tomato and Basil Wheat Things dipped in cottage cheese. * shrugs *

4. Katy Perry--California Girls

During the summer of 2010, I lived at a ritzy apartment complex in Provo, filled with summer sales guys and.....well, beautiful girls. Lucienne was living with me at the time, and she had just flown to Canada for a week to visit her friend. She left me her car, and said I could drive it. In case some of you don't remember, my first car was a 1993 Toyota Trecel, and not the fanciest car in the lot. ( I was egged my first month living there.) So I drove her brand new, black Santa Fe around with the sun roof open, blaring that song all week long. I felt like the SHIZ. I wasn't.....but I felt like it. Hearing this song makes me feel pumped and exciting, and motivated to be on top of my own world.

5. Kenny Loggins--Return to Pooh Corner

This was one of the first CD's that my parents gave me. I listened to this album all the time as a child, and loved it. One of the songs on this CD was on The Last Unicorn movie, which I was obsessed with. When I hear this song, it kind of brings me back "home." I feel like I have a home-base, ya know? I get emotional most of the time, but this one brings out "good emotions." Happiness. Nostalgia. Anything....child-like.

6. Ben Folds--Landed

I didn't really know much about Ben Folds until the summer of 2011. I was able to go see him live in Salt Lake that summer, and had a BLAST. Great company, and a really fun and new experience. From that time on, I listened to Ben Folds a lot. I got into a relationship shortly after that, and now this song brings me back to standing in that warehouse, listening to Ben Folds, driving with the windows down. I suppose the lyrics contribute to any sad feelings that are associated with this song, but those came later, and I will always be fond of those memories and Ben Folds. I haven't listened to him for the last few months, but I am a fan. He swears like a sailor when he's Live.

7. Fall Out Boy--My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark

This is a new song, and doesn't really offer any memory recall. Yet. But I LOVE this song, and gets me so pumped up, especially at the gym. If you need a good workout song, this is it.

8. Avril Lavigne--Complicated/Sk8ter Boy

This song was HUGE when I was a freshmen in high school. Whenever I hear this, I am transported back to van rides with the Volleyball team to our next game. We made our coach play these songs ALL the time. For some reason, I have this very clear memory of sitting in the back of the van, doing my history homework, singing along to this song, and thinking to myself "I am so awesome. I am getting good grades, completing my homework, ALL while jamming out to this AWESOME song." I was SUCH a dork. So I hear this and I feel like I'm 14 years old and on top of the world.

9. Rent--Goodbye Love

This is the song I was singing in my car when I first understood what belting was, and that I might actually be able to do it. Starting at about :40 seconds, the song starts to pick up, and right when Joanne comes in and sings "Didn't give and inch when I gave a mile"...I finally figured it all out. I always come back to that song when I'm frustrated or mad about my singing. Because if I can still sing that, then I must be doin' alright. (Its not hard, it's not a big deal, but it was a little milestone for me.)

10. Beyonce'--ANY OF HER SONGS

It is no secret that I LOVE Beyonce. I just think that she is the fiercest woman a live. Mm. She's so great. So....alot of her songs really get me thinking or excited about life or remind me of milestones. So.....This is just a general shout out to Beyonce' and how much I love her. However, right now, one of my favorite lines in her song "We run the world" is "strong enough to bear the children', then get back to bi'ness." GET IT.


So....there it is.