I'm kinda mad.

Look.

I'm kind of upset.

Not at anybody in particular, but....I'm upset.

And frustrated.

And sad.

And TIRED.

And I can't fall asleep. I think I'm runnin' on my third hour in bed, and nothin' is happening.

Which, is making all my emotions intensify a little bit.

I'm mad at people who don't treat other people very well. I'm mad at mothers who don't give their children the time of day. I'm mad at fathers who don't respect their wives. I'm mad at brothers who take advantage of their siblings. I'm mad at sisters who think their entire family is a waste of space. I'm mad at children who act entitled and treat adults with disrespect. I'm mad at girlfriends who cheat on their boyfriends. I'm mad at boyfriends who break their girlfriend's heart, somehow. I'm mad at friends who talk negatively about each other. I'm mad at friends who don't treat you like you're important to them. I'm mad at friends who are stuck. I'm mad at friends who don't push themselves to be better. I'm mad at friends who are oblivious to anybody else's emotional well-being. I'm mad at friends who aren't good influences. I'm mad at liars.

I'm just mad, ok?

After re-reading the paragraph I just wrote, I think I'm mad at "friends". Maybe my friends. Maybe other people's friends. Maybe I'm upset at the concept of a friend, and how my idea of what a friend should be isn't as easy to find.

***Just because I'm writing these things doesn't mean I'm necessarily experiencing them, or that there is a friend that is making me feel this. It absolutely COULD mean that, but it doesn't always have to mean that****

Most likely I am being hypocritical. I've had my fair share of being the crappy friend in a relationship, believe you me. I might be the crappiest of them all. But I try. And I try to fix things, I try to mend them. And even when it isn't my fault, and I feel like I've done all I can do, some other friend will tell me I'm not trying hard enough to find happiness, and that I need to just try harder.

So here is my question: What am I even mad about right now?

I don't know. I'm just mad. And when you're in bed, and with nobody to talk to, you write a blog post that comes of WAY more insulting and negative than intended.

BUT I. AM. MAAAAAADDDDDDD.

Ew.