the plague

I have this sickness called "everything". Ever heard of it? Me either.

One day my throat will hurt so badly, and 8 hours later, my throat will be fine and I will be so congested with so much drainage, it's almost impossible to speak without feeling like I'm going to choke on something. In the evenings, late at night, I then come down with the flu, and feel like I'm going to throw up everything I've ever eaten, and when I wake up in the morning, it starts over with something new.

Right now? Right now I have no voice and a sore throat. I'm not concerned about the voice. I bet a hot shower will bring it right back. But I am concerned about the pain in my throat, and the fact that I am performing two shows today. I don't mind performing two shows, not even when I'm sick. It's hard, sure, and takes a bit of extra work to still do something decent on stage, but I don't mind it at all. And most of the time, I would much rather be on stage than home in my bed because I'm ill. MOST of the time.  I don't meant to complain about performing twice today, and I am actually very very excited about it. I am just concerned I would sing well, or won't hold strong during both shows. That's all.

I'm rehearsing for "The 39 Steps" up in West Valley, and may I just say how much I love this show. It's a bit of a different cast for me, and though I am LIVID that I am not in the same cast as Carter and Jake, I'm sure it will turn out just fine. Lots of fun and talented people. I'm nervous to do a role that I've already done, because I don't want to be stuck in my old ways. I want to find new things, new bits to add. I don't want to be boring. And though the commute is a lot sometimes, I am excited and feel blessed to have this chance to do it again, and in a different space.

Throat still hurts. Yup.

I'm beginning to feel empty again. Remember my posts months and months back that talked about being empty, about just existing? I feel that coming on again. But I'm lucky, because this time I can see it happening, and do something about it, as opposed to discovering it when I'm in the depths of emptiness. See Rafiki? I learn from my past. I don't mean to say I'm nothing, or I feel empty, or woe is me. Quite the contrary. I am just simply seeing the beginning signs of "going through the motions". And luckily for me, I know how to fix it. It's just a matter of doing it.

This week is Thanksgiving, and I'm so excited. Today feels like a Saturday, which means I have three more Saturday's after this! Most of that time will be spent doing South Pacific, or with my family, but it is going to be a great week. With that said, I think I'm going to go shower and shave my legs. Cheerio.