Parenting advice from the least qualified person.

I can't express enough how bizarre it is for me to be feeling and talking about these things. I can't explain why I've been so thoughtful and reflective, or how I've come to feel so strongly about parenting and children, and our responsibilities as parents. You guys: I'm not even a parent. I'm not even close to being a parent! What do I have to offer you when I write these things? Well, I don't really know. But I have these thoughts, and I want to write them down.

I work at a charter school. I spend 6-7 hours each day with Junior High students. What a rough time in life. You're never good enough: you're too fat, you're too skinny, you have too many freckles, you're always late, you're too tan, you wear glasses, you don't wear glasses, you have acne, you don't have acne, you wear cute clothes, your clothes are too ugly, you get straight A's, your grades aren't good enough. No matter what you do, you will never be good enough for somebody. It is very eye opening to watch how these kids deal with the pressures that fall upon them, and I commend them for that.

But the lesson I've pulled away from all of this observation has nothing to do with the kids, and everything to do with the parents.

Good parenting is the best thing you can do for your child.

PARENTS: If you want your child to succeed in school, in social circles, then good parenting is how you achieve that. Discipline, love, support, and encouragement is what makes children successful. Your children will not learn to have a strong work ethic if you do not teach it to them. They will not learn what respect is if you do not show it to them. The thing about children, (and adults, for that matter), is that we need to be needed. Children need to be needed. We need approval from other people. Why do kids do well in school, because they want to? Sure, I believe that some of us have an innate work ethic, and are more prone to succeeding than others. But in reality, kids work hard because our parents ask/expect us to. Children obey their parents because their parents respect them, and they respect us.

I worked hard in everything I did because I wanted my parent's approval. I worked hard because I wanted to make them happy, because I didn't want to get into trouble, and because it made me happy to make my parents proud. As I have grown older, my parent's approval no longer has the same weight, and their approval has been replaced by my approval for myself. I work hard to accomplish things, to further myself and to grow, and to make myself a better person.

Parents, I implore you: teach your children respect. Discipline your children. Hold them accountable for their behavior. Love them. Encourage them. Let them flourish, let them fly. Guide them. Don't take a back-seat. Punish them, ground them, yell at them, argue with them, reason with them, discuss with them, TEACH THEM. Teach them respect. Show them respect. Expect them to be more than they expect of themselves. Teach them confidence. Instill in them a self-worth that cannot be shaken Push them. Be the person that you want your children to be. This all begins with you. It all begins in the home.

I believe this. I really believe this.