Huh

"Phoning it in."

Do you know what that means?

I do, now.

With that said, I am on my way to phoenix tomorrow, and couldn't be happier about it.

My mind is a jumbled mess today.

Nothing is coherent.

I'm laying in my bed, and am surrounded by 5 down pillows. Actually, only 3 of them seem to be down, and 2 of them deceivingly "down". Regardless, I've been deceived, and I don't mind it one bit.

Pillows, you can deceive me anytime.

Do you know what bothers me?

Heavy breathing when unnecessary. I don't feel like elaborating on that.

I've started working out again. I love it. Wait, that's a lie. I hate it. Wait. I just...have a lot of feelings about it, and its difficult to not become impatient and expect immediate results.

Sometimes, I can be very impatient.

But I try my darndest to not let it show, and to talk myself out of being impatient.

It usually works.

I have a lot of feelings.

Today, they were mostly insecure feelings.

Insecurities about some pretty stupid things, and insecurities about some pretty not-so-stupid things.

I hate feeling that way, and I hate being around people when I do feel that way; only because I know that its effecting me and that I need to get out of it quick or be by myself so it doesn't become a bit deal, or...noticable, I suppose.

Tonight in the lobby, Aaron on the tour told me that when he was a kid, his parents said that he should never say the word "hate" because it meant that we wanted whatever he hated to die.

I can honestly say that I HATE my recent insecurities.

BUT! Carry on friends! Tomorrow is a new day!

I'm in Winslow, AZ, and my service has been really crappy the last two days. Its a big deal, I am not attached to anybody or NEED to talk to people. In fact, I left my phone at my hotel for more than half the day, and I loved it. I didn't even think about it once! Its so nice to just "let go". But my mom did text me, and I couldn't get my text back to go through. I was lucky enough (or unlucky enough) to get one phone call through this afternoon to my old job to try and fix some pretty big messes. I feel a string of more phone calls coming on very soon.

Outside, I can hear members of the tour laughing. Its too bad I like them all soo much, or I'd tell them go shut their faces so I can sleep....

But who am I kidding right now? I'm not even close to sleep right now. A'int no thing but a chicken wing.

What?

I don't understand the question.

Calzone.