4 things

So....I've been thinking alot, and I've decided that I want to work on some things. Be a "better person", if you will. I don't know if I like the phrase "better person", because who's to say these things are things that will make me "better"? BUT! I do want to reconnect a little bit with the self that I sometimes am, so here goes.

1. I want to be more adventurous. I used to be very adventurous. Nothing would scare me! Well....that's not true. I am scared of EVERYTHING! But I would still do things: moving away by myself, going somewhere I've never been, things like that. Perhaps the way I should phrase this is to "allow more fun into my life": bake cookies, stay up late with friends, laugh more, go on hikes, go on walks, be outside, do something I'm scared to do this summer. Why not pick up a new hobby,  or RELAX! I need to relax a little bit. And by that, I mean, I need to re-evaluate consequences of my choices so that I enjoy life more! For example: if so-and-so says "lets go see this movie", but its at 10:30, and its a 2 hour show, and I work the next morning....are the consequences REALLY as awful as I somehow make them out to be? NO! So what if I'm tired for a few hours the next day? Who cares! And on the scale of life, what's one night of staying out light, or getting out of the house?

2. I want to pick up a new hobby this summer. I'm not sure what it will be. So far, it looks like it will be reading. I've bought some REALLY good books recently, and I am realizing that I actually kind of like to read. I've always hated it, but I think its really good for me. As a future thought, a hobby that I really DO want to pick up is gardening. I want to have my own garden. My dad has always had a garden, and he loves it. I don't know much about gardening, but I think I want to learn and start this year or next. I want to plant beautiful flowers, and grow vegetables, and spend time in the dirt. I want to be able to look at dead grass and know what's wrong with it and the best way to fix it. I want to know how to prune roses so that they will grow to be strong and beautiful. I want to grow veggies and eat them. I want to make salsa from items from my garden! Unfortunately, I don't really live in a home that allows for a garden, but...sooner or later, I'm going to learn.

3. I want to go camping this summer! Want to know a secret? I actually....hate camping. I've hated it from about 12 and on. BUT....I think I might learn to love it again. I've been with friends since I've grown up, and though I don't like sleeping on the ground, and I don't love all of the bugs, and I certainly don't like smelling like camp-fire, and I hate the cold....there is something about spending time in the mountains with no cell phone service and with people you love. I think it helps us reconnect to ourselves, and each other. I think being in nature without any distractions can be the best cure for a lot of things. A month or two ago, I went on a picnic in the mountains with a dear friend on Sunday: it wasn't fancy, there was nothing incredible that happened, and we still had cell phone service. But it was sooo nice to just be there, in nature, and enjoying company. Spending time, QUALITY time with people, or even ourselves, is a blessing that we maybe forget that we have. I would like to do that more.

4. I want to think of other people more. I have been, (and we ALL get this way) REALY wrapped up in my own life, and in my own worries and troubles. Unfortunately, those will never go away, and we will always have them. But.....for some reason, I have this thought in my head that if I try to think of other people more, or do things for other people, we will all be better off. Sure, there is an element of service that is selfish, but maybe, JUST maybe, I can get to a point where I WANT to help somebody else--where the benefits of serving somebody doesn't even cross my mind before I decide to do it? I think that's a place that I will need to work at if I want to get there, but I think I can do it. Maybe loving somebody is the same concept--we should love our friends and family because we LOVE them, not because we expect to be loved in return. I don't know why that fits in with this post, but it just came out of my fingers, so whatever.

Anyway, I know this blog is nothing great, nor is it well-written (I haven't even read over it to check for errors), but....that's how I feel tonight.

In 3 days, I fly to Ireland for a couple weeks. What a perfect time to practice being adventurous: meeting new people, and just living life.