I need a minute

Guys. I need an emotional vacation.

Wouldn't that be so nice?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Feeling things is actually really great. I had a long period of my life where I didn't feel much of anything: not a lot of heartache or sadness, but not a lot of joy. I was just sort of existing. And it got me through a lot of things. But one day I realized my life was pretty empty and I didn't want to live that way anymore.

So.....with the help of some friends along the way and some effort on my part, I started feeling things again. (I mean, this sentence is a HUGE understatement because it took a LOT more than just "deciding to feeling things again" to actually start doing it on a regular basis. Moving on.)

Now, I'm a feeling-machine. My heart explodes with joy or sadness at the drop of a hat. Kristen Bell told Ellen once that if she's not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, she's crying.

That's me, too.

Earlier this week, Mickey Mouse stepped off a trolly car while singing a song, and I started to cry. Somebody very dear to me said something that hurt my feelings (my feelings don't get hurt often) and I cried and cried and cried. I watched my little kids perform the Italian National Anthem at their school concert, and I cried. I had to have some very hard conversations with people that I love more than anything the last few weeks, and I've spent a fair amount of time crying tears of joy and sadness over that as well.

I'm a leaky faucet.

Maybe I'm making up for lost time.

But my point in all of this, is that I just need a little bit of an emotional break.  No more sadness. No more joy. Just a steady level of functioning would be swell--just for a few days. Perhaps a good night's rest? Let's give these tired little heartstrings a break, shall we?

Yeah right.

I'll never survive Motherhood. Heaven help me.